4AM. The sun had not risen yet. John Doe and the gang were in a fishing boat, floating endlessly somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, their vision obscured by a mysterious fog.
On the Big Tech Map, the Stationery Village was located on an island near the coastline. But after they got in the boat, they traveled for hours without reaching the destination, or even worse—they were lost in a water maze.
“We’ve been here before. Look! It’s the same water.” Queen was frowning. As an amazingly successful genius, she had all the habits of highly efficient people, including the one secret nobody knew about—not wasting time. That day, however, she had wasted hours without a single clue.
“Is it?” S.K. was swimming in the ocean. He enjoyed this a lot—his body harmonizing with nature, being free in the wild like a dolphin, or a whale, or a shark—yes, definitely a shark, it was a cooler predator, just like him. “It just seems like regular water to me: no taste, no smell, no color.”
“Exactly. It looks the same as the water an hour ago: no taste, no smell, no color. They’re identical. We’re in a maze,” Queen said.
“Eh… Okay.” S.K. didn’t understand how Queen could differentiate various zones in the ocean, but she acted so confidently he supposed she must be right.
Suddenly, they heard a beautiful voice coming from the bottom of the ocean, humming a gentle melody like folk songs of the last century.
“COVER YOUR EARS! HURRY UP!” Lyndzee shouted. She took the ear plugs out of her bag and distributed them to everyone.
“What? Why? I like this song,” S.K. said, but before he got an answer, the gentle voice suddenly morphed into a high-pitched scream. The upbeat folk song was also replaced by an ugly, eerie melody.
Travelers from afar
Can’t you stay for a little while?
The ocean is deep, and I am lonely.
The gang covered their ears, trying to block the insufferable voice from piercing through their eardrum.
“It’s a siren,” Lyndzee said.
“What’s a ‘siren’?” S.K. asked. Thanks to the reusable silicone ear plugs, waterproof noise cancelling ear plugs for sleeping, shooting, mowing, airplanes, concerts, 22dB highest NRR, he could not hear the song anymore, but he could still hear Lyndzee perfectly.
Lyndzee cleared her throat and raised her chin slightly. This was her area of expertise, and she was happy to educate the ignorant peasants. “Sirens are evil, dangerous mythical creatures. They use their enchanting voice to charm sailors and kill them. They look like mermaids, but evil.”
“What’s a ‘mermaid’?” S.K. asked again. As an authentic alien, he did not know any of the earthly creatures.
“They are like humans, but their bottom body is that of—” Lyndzee was talking proudly, but she stopped abruptly when she saw something coming out of the water. She squinted her eyes to see better, but the emerging creature was beyond anything she could have imagined.
The top half of the siren, if she could still call it “siren”, was that of a tuna fish, and the bottom half was a human body. Between its two legs was the unspeakable horror the shape of a sausage, and expectedly, it was pixelated—this scene must remain family-friendly, after all.
The siren was playing a harp with his fins, which were abnormally long and flexible. The melody continued, this time more insufferable that even the reusable silicone ear plugs, waterproof noise cancelling ear plugs for sleeping, shooting, mowing, airplanes, concerts, 22dB highest NRR could not block the noise any longer.
“Surrender, humans, or be prepared for a painful death,” the siren said.
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU?” Lyndzee screamed, her voice pierced through the eerie air. For a moment, the gang thought it was the siren’s scream, but then, they saw her face morphing into something monstrous.
The siren stopped playing the harp. His fish eyes stayed locked on Lyndzee. Then, he swam one step backwards, farther from them.
Lyndzee pointed her finger at the siren, still screaming. “WHAT… WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BODY?”
“My body?” The siren dived and rotated three rounds under the water before surfacing. His fins were waving vigorously, and he winked at Lyndzee. “I know I’m a gift to the world. My fins, my gill, my nostril. Don’t get too turned on.”
Lyndzee’s eyes almost popped out of their sockets, but before she could scream again, another creature arose. This time, it was a mermaid—the usual kind.
“Finally, something normal.” Lyndzee let out a long, controlled sigh, then sat down again.
On the other side, the mermaid was holding the fins of the siren and whispering softly. “Brother, stop harassing them.”
John gazed at the mermaid, mostly at her big breasts. They were the size of two pomelos but not at all saggy. Her lips were full—too full indeed, they looked like they were swelling. She had long, silver hair, slightly wavy and extraordinarily silky like she had just come out of a hair salon. Her eyes were dreamy blue like the color of spring blended with bubble gum and coriander, or something that didn’t look very blue or dreamy when you thought about it. She had an hourglass body, and the shiniest, cleanest, most arousing fish scale anyone had ever seen.
He felt something in his chest: it was love at first sight. Never before had he seen any woman that hot kind-hearted. John had met her only ten seconds ago, but he heard her words—she was telling her hideous brother not to harass them—what a heart of gold she had.
“Miss… Hello… Miss…” John stuttered. He pinched his leg, trying to calm himself. He must show his best self to this hot kind-hearted mermaid, although he was certain his effort would be in vain. After all, someone like her could get any man, or woman, or any living creatures, or dead creatures, that she wanted, while he was just an ordinary man anyone could buy a dime a dozen on the street. He couldn’t even leave an impression on the readers in his own part of the story. At best, she would—
“Yes?” The hot nice mermaid answered, cutting off John’s self-indulgent thoughts. She was gazing back at him and smiling softly. Her voice was sweet and gentle, just as he had imagined. Her cheeks turned red, like she was embarrassed. “You are too kind, young man. Never before did anyone call me ‘Miss’. They always say I am the ugliest thing in the ocean, that I am a shame to their world.”
“No. Don’t listen to them, Miss. You are so… nice… and… beautiful. What’s your name?” John leaned his body too forward he almost fell off the boat. Next to John, Queen and Lyndzee were shivering simultaneously. John thought he even saw Queen rolling her eyes, but perhaps it was just an illusion.
“Oh… Thank you so much, young hero.” The mermaid groaned. She swam towards them and jumped around their boat like a dolphin, which made John fall in love with her even more, and Queen and Lyndzee trembling even harder. “My name is Merewif. I am so indebted to your kindness, so I will guide you out of this maze. Where are you going, young hero?”
“Well, ain’t that fucking convenient?” Viper grunted. “Back in my world, we have to tie them up and torture them until they show us the way.”
“Nobody gives a shit about ‘back in your world’, dude. S.K. is a literal alien and he’s not as insufferable as you,” Queen said.
“You’re an alien?” The siren suddenly asked. His fish eyes were stretching to their limit. “You have more human features than I do, and I’m not supposed to even exist in this world.”
“It’s not about how you look.” Wise Mentor finally spoke up. Five more minutes of silence and the gang would start to think he was asleep. He raised one hand to the sky, and the fog surrounding them cleared up. “Our greatest treasure lies within us—our soul.”
“You can make the fog vanish just like that? What have you been doing all this time? We’ve been rowing for hours, and we couldn’t see shit.” Viper frowned.
“Viper, focus on what matters: our soul is—”
“I didn’t expect you to say something half-decent, snake dude,” Lyndzee interrupted Wise Mentor. She was still staring at Merewif, wondering whether this version of mermaid was kind, evil, or worse—a tear-jerking nice-girl-forced-to-do-evil-things kind of creature. “First of all, girl, learn the principles, that loser must at least hand you his scarf in the freezing winter, then you can be indebted to him for life, alright? Second of all, seriously, Mr. Mentor, what was up with that?”
“Guys, can we all chill and focus on the mission?” S.K. pointed at a direction. Without the mysterious, scary fog, they could see an island not too far away. “Is that the Stationery Village?”
“Yes. It is. Are you guys going there? My brother and I are from the village. We can be your guide,” Merewif said.
“She can be your guide,” the siren said. Then, he dived into the water and vanished.
Merewif looked like she was about to cry, but she didn’t follow her brother.
“Mr. Mentor, will we need a guide?” John asked.
“This is your adventure. You can decide.” Wise Mentor patted his shoulder.
“Then…” John took a deep breath and said hurriedly before he ran out of all the courage he had gathered. “Thank you, Miss. Please be our guide.”
Merewif nodded vigorously. She smiled at John, making him blush even harder. Then, she waved at them, signaled the gang to follow her, and swam away.
